My Survival Guide

Being Canadian I am fairly resourceful, in spite of this I can’t wrestle a bear, start a fire by rubbing sticks together or read a compass, but I can get a cork out of a wine bottle without a corkscrew.  I’m sure this doesn’t surprise any of you.  So, if you ever find yourself in this situation try one of these.

1.)    Don’t be such a snob in the first place and buy screw top wine and you won’t find yourself in this predicament.

2.)    Remove the plastic bit that covers the cork, wrap the end of the bottle in a towel and bang it ‘gently’ against a tree, fence or something similar (avoid concrete for obvious reasons).  It will gradually make its way out.  When enough is protruding grab the cork with your fingers and gently twist and pull.

3.)    Push the cork into the bottle.  You can use just about any kitchen utensil.  My favourites are butter knives or the handle of a wooden spoon.  Be careful as some may spray out but this is better than no wine at all.

4.)    If you’re a bit of a DIYer you can drive a screw into the top of it and use a pair of pliers to pull it out.

Cheers!

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10 Responses

  1. Thanx for that. Will keep it in mind

  2. We have actually done No4. I say we, more my husband.

    It was his 30th birthday, and we were moving house the next day. Everything was packed in boxes, his birthday tea of pizza was in the oven, and we were sitting on the floor (sofa already in the removal lorry). We came to open the wine, and … arrrgh! No corkscrew! Luckily we did still have the toolbox from having been removing various things, so resourceful as ever, he screwed a screw in, and voila!

    And that’s why I married him 🙂

  3. I like number 1 best. How long do you have to keep banging for number 2? Is it something that can be achieved when desperate?

  4. what a fabulous list!

  5. My husband bought me a fancy corkscrew two years ago for Christmas. No wonder I married him; he has his priorities in order.

  6. Done 3 and 4 but you missed out opening champagne with a hussar’s sabre and Keith Richard’s fave of simply smashing off the whole neck on the nearest table. Oh, and the cork also pops out if you microwave the bottle for long enough. No, don’t thank me…

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